A Case of the Tuesdays? I'm new here.

With all the shit that's being thrown out at us from every shady corner around town, I needed a day dedicated to not taking it. [hello tuesday]. Birth control police, homophobic world leaders, your parents, your new boss and/or measly paycheck, public transit, the stomach flu*, there's just no time for it all and I certainly don't have the patience. So tuesdays will be about sticking it to the haters, external ones or that voice in your head that sneaks its way into making you feel shitty. Geared toward reaching in and locating that inner gumption that gets you through the day, the week, and life while we're at it.

I have been in NJ/NY for officially two weeks. Sitting at home in the Midwest just three or four weeks ago, I daydreamed about the new, scared, chaotic feelings that come parallel with new spaces, people, and ways of life. I craved that chaos though, sitting home in the snoozy comfort of Ohio. And yet, just this morning's mere hours between 7am and 9am have exemplified the overwhelmed reality that comes with it all, the sh*t really.

My list:

- I could not figure out the parking payment system at the train in NJ, while rushed men in business suits tapped their feet behind me.

-Trains to Penn Station were out, so I hopped on a train to Hoboken, having no clue what I was doing but hoping for the best.

-Couldn't figure out how to hold my coffee and read the paper without it taking over me and the man next to me.

-Nobody else has their tickets out? Ugh, was I not supposed to put it on the seat yet?

-Made it to Hoboken, follow the crowds. Miss the first subway.

-Made it to Christopher street, but not before having to stop and pull out my map

-(and just when I think I'm in the clear) I stand at the entrance to the park gate for 5 minutes trying to figure out how to unlatch it.

Does this non-exhaustive list mean I'm inadequate? No. What it means, is that I'm new here. Everything I've been doing these past few weeks has been first time around: driving Bill's car, navigating Summit and Manhattan, understanding the subway, getting a hold of the day to day of this new job, living with Patsy, budgeting for this city, etc. All of it, and the trials and errors that come with the new, can leave one feeling ridiculous and incompetent. But I'm refusing to let myself go down that path of self-critique- I'm not taking that shit. Post-grad life is so ______ (annoying, lonely, weird, tumultuous) that I know I have to take all these new feelings and run with them, optimistically. They're fleeting. We all have our new phases, new cities, new jobs, new relationships. We will slip up, we will fuck up. But laugh at yourself and ask advice from strangers in the process because there are too many people in this city not to say hello.

heyo tuesday, bring it.

(*hope you're feeling less dehumanized Miller.)